The Wife's Role in Marriage: Helper, Glory and Keeper of the Home
"Fight for your husband, not with him. A woman's place in God's design is powerful, not small."
Last week we started this series by saying, marry only in the Lord. Today we continue with the role of the wife in marriage. Men, don't worry, your turn is coming.
Our prayer as a church is simple. We want blessed families, children in the Lord, and from blessed families a blessed church.
"Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear" (1 Peter 3:1-2).
God Is Glorified When We Live Our Roles
God gets the glory when each of us lives the role He has given in our relationships. Notice what Peter says. A husband who does not obey the Word can be won without a word, simply by watching how his wife lives. I have seen husbands who never came to church begin bringing their wives to church themselves, because something in her conduct spoke to them.
The same Bible we read in 1900 is the Bible we read today. Culture moves. The Word does not.
The Roles of a Wife
1. A Helper
"And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him" (Genesis 2:18). A help meet is a fitting, appropriate helper. That is not a small title.
2. Submitted
Submission follows the order of creation, and it is about reverence. "Let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband" (Ephesians 5:33). Reverence here is honor and respect, not trembling fear.
3. A Follower
A home cannot have two heads. Sarah followed Abraham. "Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement" (1 Peter 3:6). Noah's wife went into the ark with him. Rebekah was ready to leave her home and go with Abraham's servant.
4. The Glory of Her Husband
"For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man" (1 Corinthians 11:7). This does not make a woman less in God's eyes. "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:28). Husband and wife are "heirs together of the grace of life" (1 Peter 3:7). Equal before God, with different roles.
5. A Lover
A loving wife protects her husband. Love in the home is a wall against immorality outside it.
6. A Wife Before a Mother
When children come, many wives give everything to the children and slowly forget the husband. The children are a blessing, but the husband came first, and one day the children will marry and leave. Keep your marriage first.
7. A Keeper of the Home
Paul tells the older women to teach the younger women "to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed" (Titus 2:4-5). He also tells younger women to manage the house and "give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully" (1 Timothy 5:14). A discreet, gentle, peaceable home closes the door on the enemy.
This is not a picture of a woman who sits idle. The virtuous woman of Proverbs 31 "considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard" (Proverbs 31:16). And because of her, "Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land" (Proverbs 31:23).
Fight for Your Husband, Not With Him
"She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life" (Proverbs 31:12). Defend your husband. Praise him. Stand by him in his bad times. A wife who constantly accuses her husband weighs down his spirit and even his prayer life. Keep him unoffended.
A Wise Way to Speak
When you have something to say, say your point quietly and leave it. If needed, say it again, patiently, at another time. The right moment will come. Constant pressure closes ears. Quiet wisdom opens them.
Your Peace Is Your Responsibility
Your peace and your joy are your personal responsibility. Don't live as a permanent victim. In the presence of God you can live above sorrow. A good life requires breaking, changing and the renewing of the mind. That is true for every one of us.
A Woman Is a Blessing
Neither the home nor the church can run without women. Your position is powerful, not disadvantaged. True fulfillment comes from doing the will of God in the place He has given you. And I want the older women among us to do what Titus 2 says: teach the younger ones.
To our daughters who are unmarried: keep yourselves until marriage, and do not be discouraged. Parents, prepare your daughters. Young men, pray for a wise daughter of God. And all of you, marry only in the Lord.
The Marriage in the Lord Series
This is Part 2 of a 9-part teaching on marriage in the Lord. Here is the full series in order:
Part 1: Marry Only in the Lord: Why Your Marriage Covenant Shapes Your Destiny
Part 2: The Wife's Role in Marriage: Helper, Glory and Keeper of the Home (you are here)
Part 3: The Husband's Role in Marriage: Dwell With Understanding and Honor
Part 4: Becoming Ready for Marriage: Leave, Cleave and Choose Wisely
Part 5: The Family God Builds: A Man's Calling as Leader, Lover and Protector
Part 6: Love Her as Christ Loved the Church: The Husband as Priest, Teacher and Provider
Part 7: How to Make Your Marriage Blessed: Fear God and Keep His Word
Part 8: What God Has Joined: Faithfulness, Agreement and a Godly Seed
Part 9: Pursue Peace in Your Marriage: Recognizing and Breaking Toxic Patterns
Previous: Part 1: Marry Only in the Lord
More Teaching Series
The Mystery of Open and Closed Doors: Start with Part 1: The Stealer of Joy
The Decision Series: Start with Part 1: Why Decisions Matter
The Lordship Series: Start with Part 1: Is Jesus Your Lord or Only Your Savior?
Declarations
I will live the role God has given me, and He will be glorified.
I am a helper, and my help is a gift from God.
I will fight for my husband, not with him.
My conduct will speak the gospel even when my words cannot.
My peace and joy are my responsibility, and I receive them in God's presence.
My home will give no occasion to the enemy.
Stay Connected & Grow Deeper
Watch the full message: Part 2 of the Marriage in the Lord series on YouTube. Please note that the message is preached in Hindi.
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