What God Has Joined: Faithfulness, Agreement and a Godly Seed
"The fear of God kills pride and selfishness. Bring the fear of God into your home, and you have taken the first step to fixing your marriage."
We are in the second part of the message on how to make a marriage better, and again our foundation is Ecclesiastes 12:13.
"Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man" (Ecclesiastes 12:13).
This is the whole duty of man, and especially of a believer. Truth does not change because of people. Whether you follow it or not, it remains the truth. I thank God that during this series some families have been reconciled.
The Fear of God Comes First
How do we fix a marriage? Number one: bring in the fear of God. That fear kills pride and selfishness. If you want to find out how big a sinner you are, get married. Marriage exposes the self.
When young people see only bad examples, they become afraid to marry. My prayer is that this series removes questions, doubts and fears, and that everyone gets clarity.
What God Has Joined
"Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder" (Matthew 19:6).
A marriage made in God's presence, in God's way, between two believers, is a blessed marriage.
Be Not Unequally Yoked
"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14).
Many people come to faith while their husband or wife does not. Those with good marriages often cannot understand what a hard marriage is like, and those in hard marriages cannot imagine a good one. So let's look carefully at what the Word says.
When You Married Before You Believed
Paul speaks to those who were already married when they came to faith. "If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away" (1 Corinthians 7:12). So do not seek a divorce. "But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace" (1 Corinthians 7:15).
For those who are free to marry, the word stays the same: "only in the Lord" (1 Corinthians 7:39).
Separation, Safety and Reconciliation
If there is abuse, separation comes first, long before anyone talks about divorce. Some problems cannot be resolved while living under the same roof. The purpose of separation is that, where possible, reconciliation can come. Take one step at a time, and let the Lord lead you.
God Comes First
If any relationship is corrupting your faith, God comes first. Jesus is first.
Hear these principles carefully. Don't get so excited by one teaching that you go and make ten new mistakes. I am teaching principles.
Be Faithful and Watchful
Be faithful to each other. Don't give the devil any place, and don't keep your anger until evening (Ephesians 4:26-27). "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour" (1 Peter 5:8).
The Power of Agreement
It is easy to make an agreement. It is harder to actually agree. Jesus said, "if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them" (Matthew 18:19). When there is constant disagreement at home, prayer is blocked.
Honor One Another
The man is called to provide, to be strong, to lead, to give direction and to protect. Wives, don't keep criticizing and degrading your husband, to others or in front of the children. If a man hears that he is worthless every day, he begins to question himself. And comparing your husband with your father is foolish.
Husbands, if you provoke your wife or do not treat her rightly, your prayers will not be answered (1 Peter 3:7). Wives, you can pray long prayers in church, but if there is no honor at home, the marriage will not be blessed.
Don't isolate your spouse from their parents and the people who matter in their life.
Talk Privately and Humbly
When there is something to talk about, go to your room, close the door and talk to each other. Make sure others don't hear. Say what you need to say with humility.
Two Believers Have No Reason to Break
Between two believers there should be no reason for a marriage to break. Even adultery can be forgiven.
Marriage lasts as long as we live. It is not for lifetime after lifetime. It is for this life, so make it count.
Intimacy and Unity
"Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer" (1 Corinthians 7:5). Don't avoid or neglect each other, and never use intimacy as a tool of manipulation. "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled" (Hebrews 13:4). The world struggles with sexual sin. The marriage bed is the one bed God calls pure. Read the Bible and pray together too.
Two Are Better Than One
"Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow... Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken" (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).
In most marriages one is warmer and one is softer. Together you are stronger. Enjoy the good things God gives you, together. Those who spend all their strength fighting never get to enjoy life.
A Godly Seed
"And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed" (Malachi 2:15). The ultimate point of a believers' marriage is a godly generation.
When the home environment is right, the home becomes a blessing. Two loving parents can raise children of the highest character. The husband is the chief teacher, and the wife has a great influence. Dysfunction in the home harms children.
The Marriage in the Lord Series
This is Part 8 of a 9-part teaching on marriage in the Lord. Here is the full series in order:
Part 1: Marry Only in the Lord: Why Your Marriage Covenant Shapes Your Destiny
Part 2: The Wife's Role in Marriage: Helper, Glory and Keeper of the Home
Part 3: The Husband's Role in Marriage: Dwell With Understanding and Honor
Part 4: Becoming Ready for Marriage: Leave, Cleave and Choose Wisely
Part 5: The Family God Builds: A Man's Calling as Leader, Lover and Protector
Part 6: Love Her as Christ Loved the Church: The Husband as Priest, Teacher and Provider
Part 7: How to Make Your Marriage Blessed: Fear God and Keep His Word
Part 8: What God Has Joined: Faithfulness, Agreement and a Godly Seed (you are here)
Part 9: Pursue Peace in Your Marriage: Recognizing and Breaking Toxic Patterns
More Teaching Series
The Mystery of Open and Closed Doors: Start with Part 1: The Stealer of Joy
The Decision Series: Start with Part 1: Why Decisions Matter
The Lordship Series: Start with Part 1: Is Jesus Your Lord or Only Your Savior?
Declarations
The fear of God rules my home, and pride and selfishness have no place.
What God has joined together, no man will put asunder.
My spouse and I will agree in prayer.
I will honor my spouse in private and in public.
I will not give the devil any place in my marriage.
Our home will raise a godly seed.
Stay Connected & Grow Deeper
Watch the full message: Part 8 of the Marriage in the Lord series on YouTube. Please note that the message is preached in Hindi.
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